New Year is just next door. Finally, it is time to put behind everything that I felt was not required for future. I lived
through days and years with a false smile pasted on my face so as to not let
those who I loved from seeing the pain I was going through. I felt, if they saw
me cry, they will cry too. They will understand me and feel sad for me…Today, I
can see the comedy in it. They were all only illusions of my heart to be living
in a world of care and compassion.
Thus, I have decided to keep back some parts of my
past as my past. That was a sweet term to say, “to keep back”; where I actually
meant, “Throw away”.
- The tears that I held back hiding from the world.
- The smiles I used to prevent hurting the others.
- The blind love I bestowed on all that I cared for.
- The blame of trying to portray a ‘Self-Victimiser’.
- The negativity that a relation had dumped onto me.
- The belief that somebody else will take care of you.
- The thought that my happiness was not important.
- The misconception that I would be understood.
- The regrets that pressed me down the years.
- The guilty conscience which dragged me to restlesness.
- The over-confidence on my decisions being always right.
- The relatives who cared for nothing but their own false pride.
- The expectation of being anybody’s priority over everything else.
- The fear of standing up for myself; against the pre-set standards.
“Nothing is worth it, if YOU are not happy”
